Our story takes place the night before Christmas, outside the magical and wondrous structure that is Santa’s Workshop. It is a scene of busy preparation and anticipation, as a year’s worth of hard work finally comes to fruition! So as Santa’s little helpers run around checking every final detail, and Santa himself suits up for a night of delivering presents to children across the world; the Reindeer find themselves preparing for the trip ahead in their own special way…

CAST
Comet: Nic Bowden
Blitzen: Dan Khan
Prancer: Joe Lister-Streep
Santa: Rob Atkinson
Policeman: Ian Carter
Christopher Walken courtesy of Fiverr.com

Credits: Written by Phil Mason & Renate Reynolds. Produced and Edited by Peter Beeston.
Music Taken From: Santastic: Holiday Boots
This work is released under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported license

Credits: Read by Emma Cuckson. Written By: Charles Gosden
This work is released under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported license

Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?

I know wherefore! Down the tavern with is mates, that’s wherefore! ’Did you see the game last night’! Quoits this, quoits that! Pro-celebrity bloody quoits! He knows exactly what he can do with his sodding quoits. I suppose he’s playing the big man and buying everyone flagons of ale. Never buys me anything! Probably forgotten it’s our wedding anniversary next week, as usual. He’ll be sorry! And he’d better not be dallying around with that barmaid again, all tits and hair! If he comes home stinking of lilac water they’ll both be sorry! Mind you, if he wakes up our neighbour again, Mister Bacon, then I won’t need to deal with him! I suppose he’ll have the urge when he gets home! That’s all it ever is, an urge! Two minutes of fumbling and even if he manages to get it up, he falls asleep before he can put it to any use.

Typical man, bloody useless! I should have married Benvolio instead, at least he’s got a proper job! I bet he wouldn’t just mope around the house all day complaining and getting under my feet. And if I ask him to do a simple job like fetch some water or go to the market, oh no! He’s just too busy or he’s got a headache. Hangover more like! I’ll give him a bloody headache when he gets back! And God help him if he’s covered in that cheap tarts lipstick! I could have had a career, made something of Myself, instead of ending up as a glorified skivvy. I’m still an attractive woman, I could do a lot better for myself. The local squire is always giving me the eye, he’s a bit old but he’s got plenty of money. I think I deserve a better life, a few little luxuries now and again…

To live in a palace and have servants to do every thing for me, satisfy my every whim. Aaaah, if only! He used to bring me flowers when we were courting, and serenade me on the balcony! Oh to be star-crossed lovers again. He’ll be seeing stars if he comes crawling in at two-o’clock in the morning, stinking of beer! Waking me up and drooling all over me, snoring and farting all night long! He’s worse than a dog. I expect he’ll try and convince me that he’s got some important work to do tomorrow being a bodyguard or rescuing someone of great importance. But if I should happen by the royal oak tavern, I’m sure I would find him holding court, guarding his drink with his life!

Hero, pah! Bar stool hero! He shows that blonde harlot more affection than he does me. And that better be all he’s showing her, trollop! I bet she wouldn’t cook his meals, wash his clothes and clean the house. Oh no! Well somebody’s going to get too much starch in their codpiece tomorrow, maybe that will curb his urge! I can’t remember the last time he took me out anywhere, yet he’s out every night! It would be nice to go for a meal once in a while, or perhaps the theatre. I understand that Shakespeare fellow has got a new play on in the city and it’s only an hour away by the new stagecoach service. Whatever will they invent next. I bet he would take miss big tits as quick as you like!

I don’t know why I stay, I should go home to mother, she said he would never amount to anything! Why oh why didn’t I listen! Because, back then, we loved each other, and nothing else mattered! We were all consumed within our passion and the outside World became a distant place. I wonder if we could recapture that youth, if there is any of that passion left. Alas, no! I do not think that anyone can travel back to a point in time. What is done is done, what is said is said and what has gone has gone. There can be no return. One can only go forward.

Yes, tomorrow I shall leave, early in the morning, before he wakes. I will leave him a note. Yes! I have little to take, just some memories, and they are not a burden. Everything else can remain.

Tuesday night is ‘Gamblers Anonymous’; taking place within a community centre in an old forgotten pit village. Paul, an ex-miner runs the group along with Glenn, a tall man with a short temper. Clive has found himself amongst them on the advice of his solicitor, and Adam? Well, Adam isn’t sure if he wants to be there at all…

However, tonight their meeting is disrupted by a new member and before the week is over, the group will find themselves having to come to terms with what they believe about their addiction and themselves…

Cast:
Jonathan Taylor as Glen,
Tim Rutherford as Paul,
Justin Scott as Clive,
Gareth Smedley as Rob,
and Wes Lancaster as Adam.

Credits: Written by Justin Scott. Directed by Paul Kenny. Produced and edited by Peter Beeston Music: This production features the tracks Ghosts by Nine-Inch-Nails
This work is released under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported license

I suppose it was inevitable, me ending up here in this police cell. You might even say it was my destiny. You see ever since I was small, I’ve loved stories of heroes and magicians who’ve escaped from impossible places and incredible situations. Now here I am, inside such a place. It’s a bit ironic I guess. However; sometimes what you see isn’t necessarily what you see…

‘Thanks to Harry’ is a new production written by Phil Ryan from Storm-Productions and produced by the creative team here at ‘Cornucopia Radio’. It tells the tale of someone who uses his skills as a magician to help create a better life for himself, his friends and the woman he loves.

Read By: Ian Carter
Additional Voices: Graham Rodgers, Christopher Bellamy, Bev Mason, Anastasios Filactou, Vivienne Pettitt, Peter Beeston, Nick Card, Paul Kenny, Nick Draper and Owen York
Music By: Johnny Ripper from the album ‘Soundtrack For a Film That Doesn’t Exist’
Written by: Phil Ryan Produced and Edited by: Peter Beeston
This work is released under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported license

Jenny is standing in her bedroom, cleaning a pair of walking boots. She is in her under-slip. There is a mirror, a small table, a rail of clothing and a double bed. A long nighty is on top of the bed and underneath it, sits a small cardboard box. She patiently waits for her husband to return, while outside the rain continues to fall, as it has done all day…

CAST:
Jenny: Elaine Parker
Radio Voice: Michael Thompson
CREDITS:
‘Flood’ first received a rehearsed reading at the ‘Crucible Theatre’ in March 2009 as part of the ‘Journeys to the City’ programme. This production also features the musical track “Clair de Lune” by Claude Debussy.
Written and Produced by Alice Collins
Directed and Edited by Peter Beeston
This work is released under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported license

“Martians Never Die” is the next in our series of updated radio sci-fi pieces from the forties and fifties. Re-recorded with new actors, modern sound effects and atmospheric music. During these productions we try to stick to the original script as closely as possible; in-turn seeking to create modern, yet strangely old fashioned pieces of radio drama…

What is the ideal bodyguard? The most ferocious looking? The most efficient killer? Or the most devoted? On Earth, you might find a combination of all three, but it’d never be as effective as the curious creature which came back from Mars with Dr. Clyde Curtis; the first human to ever step foot on the red planet…

CAST:
Hal Stern Tim Rutherford
Fay Curtis Christine Bellamy
Clyde Curtis Ian Carter
The Reporter Stephen Bullivant
Dr Anderson / Shaughtowel Peter Beeston
The Narrator Claire Hodgson

CREDITS:
Written by Lucius Daniel
Music by Matt Seldon.
This production also features the track “Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space” by Spiritualized
The original version of this play was first broadcast on ‘ABC Radio’ March 12, 1953
Directed and Edited by Peter Beeston
This work is released under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported license

Poison is on the stereo, the guitar is plugged into the console and the biscuit-tin is all but empty. This is “Biscuits for Tea“, the story of two young flatmates who have recently left university and now find themselves considering what life might have in store next. Faced with broken relationships, dead end jobs, empty bank accounts and too much spare time to fill; they quickly work out that they’ll have to help each other out if they’re to get through this. That is, as long as they don’t irritate each other to death first…

Biscuits for Tea
Written By Matthew Brown
Starring: Renate Reynolds as Sophie
And Robert Perkins as Zack
Featuring the Music: “Every Rose Has it Thorn” by Poison, “Dan in Real Life” by Sondre Lerche and
“Helix Nebula” by Anamanaguchi
Edited and Directed by Peter Beeston
This work is released under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported license

It was a long, late night and Julie finds herself being woken up from a dreamworld by Karen, her best friend since childhood. Together, on this bright morning they will discuss many things, including their past, present and future and maybe they’ll find out why Julie left the front door unlocked. It seems strange though, why would she forget ‘The Lock’?

CAST:
Karen Claire Hodgson
Julie Renaté Reynolds

CREDITS:
Written by Peter Wilson & Peter Beeson
Music: An Angel, Ameliorate: by Falling You & Mystery: by The Headroom Project Both tracks are licensed for use via Magnatune.com
Directed and Edited by Peter Beeston
This work is released under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported license

When her son Tony, a young trainee teacher is sent to prison for abusing a 14 year old pupil, Christine is forced to examine her true feelings for her only child. Set against the backdrop of her first visit post sentence, her confusion soon turns to anger as her son’s apparent denial and minimisation of his behaviour brings with it, a realisation that their relationship must change if it is to survive the sentence and beyond…

The Visit

CAST:
Christine Caroline Cooper
Tony Toby Cooper
Prison Guard Paul Kenny

Credits: Written by Paul Kenny
The music track “Train” recorded by Renaté Reynolds
Directed and Edited by Peter Beeston
Copyright ©2010 – A Cornucopia Production

In the far future, humanity has expanded out to explorer the outer reaches of the solar system. In the process, leaving behind the radioactively poisoned planet once known as Earth, but now more commonly referred to as the “Forbidden World”. However, ‘Captain Robert Newsam’ is about to discover that the planet is not as desolate as he once imagined and that sometimes the only way to get where you’re going is “The Drop”…

“The Drop” is based on the short story by John Christopher and is the first in our new series of updated versions of classic radio productions from the 1950’s.

CAST:
Captain Newsam Nic Bowden
Osborn George Webster
Mathews Joe Lister Yates
Anders Matthew Scott
Voder Jason Greenwood
Larry Roderick Shearer

Credits: Written by John Christopher
Original version broadcast on ‘ABC Radio’ April 9, 1953
Directed and Edited by Peter Beeston
This work is released under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported license

And that problem is………Benjamin Zephaniah!!!

Appeal Jingle

On the 23rd of February 2009 a collection of local comedians, poets and performers came together in Sheffield to celebrate a new poetry album by ‘Nick Card‘ and raise lots of money for Amnesty International. The album was co-produced by ourselves here at ‘Cornucopia Radio’ and we were also heavily involved in organising the charity night.

Around 200 hundred pounds was raised for a very good cause, and you can listen to some of the highlights from the live show here right here. The night featured:Owen Barber, Rex Davies, Becky Virgo, Richard Crowther, Matt & Russ, Matt MacAteer, Phil Hartley, ‘Random Acts’ & Nick Card.

The%20House.mp3

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