On this weeks radio show, We host a panel discussion to ask if we really are too soft on them. Maybe they need locking up and the key throwing away. Then the key finding again, and then burying in concrete; then sent into space and finally back in time. At this point we should go back to where we locked them up to begin with and kill them. Then bring them back to life with the help of some type of voodoo witch-doctor and kill them again. That’ll teach ‘em to call us ‘not funny’…

Section 1: Intro
Section 2: Flat pack world – David Cox
Section 3: Toliet – Jason Turner
Section 4: The Mother of All Funk Chords – Kuitman
Section 5: Soap – Nick Card
Section 6: Threads – Peter Beeston, Laura Rae
Section 7: Snooker – Chris Drury
Section 8: Ultimate Showdown – Lemon Demon
Section 9: Sex Shop – Peter Beeston, Jason Turner
Section 10: McD – David Reaney, Ian Carter
Section 11: Call Center – Iain Chandler
Section 12: Mario – XOC
Section 13: The Guard – Nick Card, Peter Beeston, Nick Drapper
Section 14: Ending

It Was Written by Peter Beeston, Jason Turner and Nick Card.
Our Legal Advisors were Peter Quistguard, Peter Quistguard and Peter Quistguard.
This Show was edited and Directed By Peter Beeston

Due to lack of bandwith in this edition of our website, there is, regrettably, no room to give details about this weeks ‘Cornucopia Radio Show’ in the allotted amount of webspace available, due to the shortage of available data, except to say that the usual allocation is normally larger than this….   

Section 1: Intro
Section 2: TV Licence – Phil Mason
Section 3: 22 Mouse – Nine Pound Hammer
Section 4: Die Happy – Robert Perkins
Section 5: Big Wheel – Chris Drury
Section 6: TV License – Phil Mason
Section 7: Dr Yang – Ben Folds
Section 8: Mastermind – Andrew Martin, Andy Finnerty
Section 9: Radio Emergency – Peter Drobinski, Renate Reynolds, Chris Lloyd, Phil Mason
Section 10: Sashimi – Tunng
Section 11: Snooker – Chris Drury
Section 12: Backpeddle – Stephen Bullivant, Barry Fisher, David Reaney
Section 13: I’m Just Bloody Inside – Liam Lynch
Section 14: The Guard – Peter Beeston, Nick Card, Nick Draper
Section 15: As a Human – CassetteBoy
Section 16: Dave – Barry Fisher, David Reaney, George Webster
Section 17: Mr Lloyd – Jason Turner

Written By Peter Beeston, Jason Turner, Andrew Martin and Andrew Calow.
Medical Supervision was Peter Quistgard.
This Show was Edited and Directed By Peter Beeston

Steven Hutchinson was on his way to meet an old friend; somebody from his past for whom a dark secret had once been hidden. Yet, as he crossed the road and approached the location they’d arranged to meet, he found himself trying to comprehend a myriad of emotions and questions he wasn’t sure he ever wanted the answer to. He never saw the car that hit him that day. The car that killed him…

‘A Grave Reunion’ is the new Poetry-Play from Nick Card, telling the story of four friends coming back together after ten years to morn the passing of somebody from their past. Somebody who is important to all of them…

CAST
Sarah Lisa Jane Pennington
Dom Nick Kilby
Fliss Lucy Porter
Barry Tom Walker
Additional Voices by Mary Nell Murphy, Nick Card and Members of the Cast
Story By Nick Card and the Cast
Production Assistant Peter Beeston
Written, Directed and Edited by Nick Card
This work is released under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported license

It was a long, late night and Julie finds herself being woken up from a dreamworld by Karen, her best friend since childhood. Together, on this bright morning they will discuss many things, including their past, present and future and maybe they’ll find out why Julie left the front door unlocked. It seems strange though, why would she forget ‘The Lock’?

CAST:
Karen Claire Hodgson
Julie Renaté Reynolds

CREDITS:
Written by Peter Wilson & Peter Beeson
Music: An Angel, Ameliorate: by Falling You & Mystery: by The Headroom Project Both tracks are licensed for use via Magnatune.com
Directed and Edited by Peter Beeston
This work is released under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported license

When her son Tony, a young trainee teacher is sent to prison for abusing a 14 year old pupil, Christine is forced to examine her true feelings for her only child. Set against the backdrop of her first visit post sentence, her confusion soon turns to anger as her son’s apparent denial and minimisation of his behaviour brings with it, a realisation that their relationship must change if it is to survive the sentence and beyond…

The Visit

CAST:
Christine Caroline Cooper
Tony Toby Cooper
Prison Guard Paul Kenny

Credits: Written by Paul Kenny
The music track “Train” recorded by Renaté Reynolds
Directed and Edited by Peter Beeston
Copyright ©2010 – A Cornucopia Production

In the far future, humanity has expanded out to explorer the outer reaches of the solar system. In the process, leaving behind the radioactively poisoned planet once known as Earth, but now more commonly referred to as the “Forbidden World”. However, ‘Captain Robert Newsam’ is about to discover that the planet is not as desolate as he once imagined and that sometimes the only way to get where you’re going is “The Drop”…

“The Drop” is based on the short story by John Christopher and is the first in our new series of updated versions of classic radio productions from the 1950’s.

CAST:
Captain Newsam Nic Bowden
Osborn George Webster
Mathews Joe Lister Yates
Anders Matthew Scott
Voder Jason Greenwood
Larry Roderick Shearer

Credits: Written by John Christopher
Original version broadcast on ‘ABC Radio’ April 9, 1953
Directed and Edited by Peter Beeston
This work is released under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported license

The meaning of ‘Three’ is all about the union of two parts to create a unique whole. That point of union forms the fruit of knowledge; it is our access point to unlimited potential. Because if ‘One’ represents force, and ‘Two’ represents an opening, then ‘Three’ is the birthing of true wisdom through a forced opening. So, let us ‘force your opening’ with the “Free by Three” special. Starting with “Falling”, a tale about the denial of gravity. Then later on you’ll hear us helping the public with “The Poetry Technical Support Line” and lastly, we’ll tell you about an object which everybody truly desires. We call it, “The Macguffin”

Podcast 17

Credits: Written and Directed Peter Beeston.
“Falling” was read by Tim Rutherford
“The Poetry Technical Support Line” was read by Iain Chandler
“The Macguffin” was read by Dina Lees
The podcast was presented by Clea Langton
This work is released under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported license

‘Fishing’ tells the story of a son’s last ditch attempts at connection and reconciliation with his dying father Frank; who as the cancer takes over his body, is becoming increasingly bitter and frustrated at the prospect of losing control over what little time he has left. In the hospice, he dreams of one last “adventure” of his own, a return to one of his favourite fishing spots to ‘hit’ a Tench or two and sink a Pint of Kington’s at ‘The Royal’.

Realising that time is of the essence, Phil ‘kidnaps’ his Father from the clutches of ward sister “Eva Braun” and on a hired narrow-boat and borrowed time, the two men embark on a journey of discovery revolving around the only activity they ever shared – Fishing. As they make their journey along the rivers and canals, the two men learn some painful home truths as long held secrets and opinions rise to the surface and with time running out, Phil is forced to reassess his commitment to the trip and ultimately his Father. Can he make it to the bitter end or will his selfish, middle class sensibilities betray them both?

CAST

Phil BartonDavid Reid
Frank BartonChristopher Bellamy
KathKerry Marriott
Sheila Lynn Rishworth
DoctorWendy Davies
NurseBently Sangita Basudev
Auxiliary NurseRex Davies
Man on Canal Nick Card
Man in Chip ShopJason Turner
BrendaBecky Virgo

Credits: Written By Paul Kenny.
Edited, Produced and Directed by Peter Beeston
This work is released under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported license

You stand in front of the door. You hand held in mid-air, posed to knock upon the harsh wooden surface. But you don’t. You barely move at all. Instead, you let the gentle summer breeze wash over you. “The House” is a new concept poetry play. Previously produced by the ‘Cornucopia Team’ as an album release for ‘Amnesty International’ and now available as an exclusive podcast.

Podcast 12: The House

Starring:
Nick Card: Poetry, Prose & lead Vocals
Geoffrey Card: The Landlord
David Zezulka: Prospective Tennant
Jess Falk: Additional House Viewer“
All I Need is Love and Dangermouse”, Music by Robert Card and Backing Vocals by Sheila Card

Production:
Nick Card: Writer, Producer, Editor
Peter Beeston: Sound Engineer, Production Assistant, Script Editor
Thanks to: Jamie Stephenson, Wakefield Poetry Access Group & Amnesty International.
This work is released under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported license