Podcasts

PODCAST 24] Steven Hutchinson was on his way to meet an old friend; somebody from his past for whom a dark secret had once been hidden. Yet, as he crossed the road and approached the location they’d arranged to meet, he found himself trying to comprehend a myriad of emotions and questions he wasn’t sure he ever wanted the answer to. He never saw the car that hit him that day. The car that killed him… ‘A Grave Reunion’ is the new Poetry-Play from Nick Card, telling the story of four friends coming back together after ten years to morn the passing of somebody from their past. Somebody who is important to all of them…

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Credits: Written, Directed and Edited by Nick Card.
Cast: Lisa Jane Pennington,Nick Kilby,Lucy Porter, Tom Walker
Copyright ©2010 – A Cornucopia Production

PODCAST 23] Who is faster than a speeding stock market crash, more powerful than a government bailout, and able to leap tall unemployment figures in a single bound? Yes! It’s ‘Commander Awesome & Liberty Lad’ and in times of severe fiduciary strife; they are the only superhero duo you will ever need (especially if you’re also a keen purchaser of high quality ex-superhero items on ebay)

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Credits: Written by Phil Maon. Directed and Edited by Peter Beeston.
Performed by: Nic Bowden, Phil Mason, Renate Reynolds, Jonathan Syer
Joe-Lister Yates, Graham Rodgers
Copyright ©2010 – A Cornucopia Production

PODCAST 22] “Martians Never Die” is the next in our series of updated radio sci-fi pieces from the forties and fifties. Re-recorded with new actors, modern sound effects and atmospheric music.

What is the ideal bodyguard? The most ferocious looking? The most efficient killer? Or the most devoted? On Earth, you might find a combination of all three, but it’d never be as effective as the curious creature which came back from Mars with Dr. Clyde Curtis; the first human to ever step foot on the red planet…

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Credits: Written by Lucius Daniel. Directed and Edited by Peter Beeston.
Performed by: Tim Rutherford, Christine Bellamy, Ian Carter, Stephen Bullivant, Peter Beeston, Claire Hodgson
Music by: Matt Seldon
Copyright © 2010 – A Cornucopia Production

PODCAST 21] It was a long, late night and Julie finds herself being woken up from a dreamworld by Karen, her best friend since childhood. Together, on this bright morning they will discuss many things, including their past, present and future and maybe they’ll find out why Julie left the front door unlocked…

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Credits: Written by Peter Wilson & Peter Beeson Directed and Edited by Peter Beeston.
Performed by: Claire Hodgson & Renate Reynolds
Music: An Angel, Ameliorate: by Falling You & Mystery: by The Headroom Project
Copyright © 2010 – A Cornucopia Production PODCAST 20] ‘Digging Deep’ tells the story of a community and a friendship that struggled to survive during the 1984-85 UK ‘Miner’s Strike’. Two people coming together for the first time in 25 years. Remembering the decisions that they had to make and the consequences that were bound to follow…

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Credits: Written and Produced by Alice Collins. Directed and Edited by Peter Beeston.
Performed by: Alison Fell, Gill Buttery & Dave Ridley
Music Tracks: Blackbird/Daybreak/Still By Justin Bianco. All tracks licensed from magnatune
Copyright © 2010 – A Cornucopia Production

PODCAST 19] It’s the start of a new year, but that isn’t going to stop us! In fact nothing is going to stop us now! As we produce yet another haphazardly constructed and poorly thought out comedy podcast! This month featuring: snowmen, cardboard people, insurance companies, the titanic, ducks & dogs & cows, inserted radios, sex shops and trainee airline pilots.

Oh, and a free ‘Air Pie with Extra Oxygen Filling’ for every new podcast subscriber…

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Credits: Produced, Written and Edited by Peter Beeston. Additional material written by Phil Mason, Andrew Calow, Roderick Shearer. Extra material from the book “Cruel Shoes” by Steve Martin.
Performed By: Michael Thompson, Peter Drobinski, Renate Reynolds, Chris Drury, Rex Davies, Alan Robinson, Phil Mason, Andrew Calow, Nick Draper, Roy Powell, Colin Empson, Nick Card, Jason Turner, Chris Lloyd, Peter Beeston & Sangita Basudev.
Music Tracks: 1.]Sleep is on the Way by Arthur Yoria, 2.] Don’t Do Me No Harm by Beight 3.] The Nights Are Getting Longer by The Union Trade All tracks licensed from magnatune.com
Copyright © 2010 – A Cornucopia Production

PODCAST 18] It is said that Pheidippides, an Athenian herald, was sent to Sparta to request help when the Persians landed at Marathon, running 150 miles in just two days. After this, he then ran another 25 miles from the battlefield near the town of Marathon to Athens to announce the Greek victory over Persia in the Battle of Marathon with the word “Νενικήκαμεν”, meaning ‘We have won’. He then collapsed and died on the spot due to exhaustion.

Many years later; in the town of Sheffield, we find ourselves focused on the adventures of a very unfit man trying to complete his first ever Marathon. He’s only just started and already he’s thinking about catching a bus…

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Credits: Written and Directed Peter Beeston.
Performed By: Ian Carter, Paul Brunt, Sangita Basudev, Chris Lloyd, David Reaney, Sara Robinson
Musical Tracks: Prismatone, By Poddington Bear
Copyright © 2009 – A Cornucopia Production.

PODCAST 17] The meaning of ‘Three’ is all about the union of two parts to create a unique whole. That point of union forms the fruit of knowledge; it is our access point to unlimited potential. Because if ‘One’ represents force, and ‘Two’ represents an opening, then ‘Three’ is the birthing of true wisdom through a forced opening.

So, let us ‘force your opening’ with the “Free by Three” special. Starting with “Falling”, a tale about the denial of gravity. Then later on you’ll hear us helping the public with “The Poetry Technical Support Line” and lastly, we’ll tell you about an object which everybody truly desires. We call it, “The Macguffin”

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Credits: Written and Directed Peter Beeston.
Performed By: Tim Rutherford, Iain Chandler, Dina Lees, Clea Langton
Copyright © 2009 – A Cornucopia Production.

PODCAST 16] We’ll start with long slow phone-call before we move onto an empty restaurant, there’s a guinea pig… in a bowl of soup….yeah that’s right…soup! Then we’ll wait, we’ll let you try to take in what you’ve just heard. Then boom! You’re in deep space, didn’t see that one coming; did you? We’ll knock you down on the ground with a quick one-two! Dog sedatives and Junking the Junk. You won’t know what hit you. Finally, you’ll think it’s all over, after all why wouldn’t it be? But you’re wrong, ’cause you’ve forgotten about a little trip to the dentist, haven’t you? Oh, you didn’t forget about it? Sorry our mistake.

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Credits: Produced, Written and Edited by Peter Beeston. Additional material written by Phil Mason, Jeff Goebel, and Andrew Calow
Performed By: Laura Rae, Roy Powell, Andrew Martin, Stephen Bullivant, Andrew Hopton, Alan Robinson, Peter Beeston, Phill Mason, Rex Davies, Wendy Davies, Chris Cockburn, Colin Empson, Nick Card & Paul Brunt.
Musical Tracks: Ergo Phizmiz performing Rolands Vegners & Nora Keyes performing Prisoner
Copyright © 2009 – A Cornucopia Production

PODCAST 15] Three important characters stand on a windy hilltop. One is known as Rock, the strongest and bravest of the group. Another calls herself Scissors; she is as sharp as she is deadly. Finally, struggling to avoid being blown away in the wind, we find Paper. He is flat. He is nothing else. Elsewhere a string puppet is entering a brothel for the first time in his life. He wants to bang wood (without getting a splinter!). Meanwhile, a TV plays to itself in a shop window. The show Backpeddle is just starting; yet again somebody will have to atone for crimes levelled against it by the British press. Across the road, Pam is opening up her pet shop for another day. As she does, she views a pantomime horse crossing the road; she wonders where he is going in such a rush. The Pantomime horse is going for a job interview; he knows the job is already his. Do all these events have anything in common? Well, they might….

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Credits: Produced, Written and Edited by Peter Beeston. Additional material written by Nick Card, Phil Mason and Andrew Martin.
Performed By: Peter Beeston, Nick Card, Phill Mason, Gillian Langley, Andrew Martin, George Webster, Rex Davies, Wendy Davies, Barry Fisher, Stephen Bullivant, Kerry Marriott. End Musical Track: Singing Sadie – Everyone In Town Wants You Dead
Copyright © 2009 – A Cornucopia Production

PODCAST 14] ‘Fishing’ tells the story of a son’s last ditch attempts at connection and reconciliation with his dying father Frank; who as the cancer takes over his body, is becoming increasingly bitter and frustrated at the prospect of losing control over what little time he has left.  In the hospice, he dreams of one last “adventure” of his own, a return to one of his favourite fishing spots to ‘hit’ a Tench or two and sink a Pint of Kington’s at ‘The Royal’.

Realising that time is of the essence, Phil ‘kidnaps’ his Father from the clutches of ward sister “Eva Braun” and on a hired narrow-boat and borrowed time, the two men embark on a journey of discovery revolving around the only activity they ever shared – Fishing. As they make their journey along the rivers and canals, the two men learn some painful home truths as long held secrets and opinions rise to the surface and with time running out, Phil is forced to reassess his commitment to the trip and ultimately his Father. Can he make it to the bitter end or will his selfish, middle class sensibilities betray them both?

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Credits: Written By Paul Kenny. Directed by Peter Beeston.
Performed By: David Reid, Christopher Bellamy, Kerry Marriott, Lynn Rishworth, Wnedy Davies, Sangita Davies, Sangita Basudev, Rex Davies, Nick Card, Jason Turner, Becky Virgo
Copyright © 2009 – A Cornucopia Production

PODCAST 13] I was trying to think the other day, about how old I might have been when I first heard about it. It’s odd, a memory like that you’d imagine would be seared into my very brain, but no. I’d guess, I was maybe seven or eight. I do recall a friend saying his uncle had bought one and he’d seen it himself. Of course, all kids lie and looking back now; I suspect at that age he wouldn’t have actually recognised one if it was stood next to him. However, later in life as you enter your teens, you begin to question things more. You want to know the ‘why‘ as much as the ‘how‘. I remember it seeming odd that everybody talked about this thing, yet nobody could tell me what it looked like. People were always vague when they talked about it. Never really making it clear if they did actually own it, or had once had it, or secretly longed for it. But it quickly became obvious to me, that if anybody did have it, they were keeping it very secret.

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Credits: Produced, Written and Edited by Peter Beeston. Additional material written by Jason Turner, Phill Mason and Graham Marshall.
Performed By: Peter Beeston, Nick Card, Jason Tuner, Phill Mason, Chris Drury & David Cox. Musical Interludes by: Cassetteboy
Copyright © 2009. A Cornucopia Production.

PODCAST 12] You stand in front of the door. You hand held in mid-air, posed to knock upon the harsh wooden surface. But you don’t. You barely move at all. Instead, you let the gentle summer breeze wash over you. You’re scared! Scared of entering “The House”
“The House” is a new concept poetry play. Previously produced by the ‘Cornucopia Team’ as an album release for ‘Amnesty International’ and now available as an exclusive podcast.

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Credits: Produced, Written and Edited by Nick Card.
Performed By: Nick Card, Geoffrey Card, David Zezulka & Jess Falk.
Copyright © 2009. A Cornucopia Production.

PODCAST 11] The first instalment of an occasional series where we get to play some excellent music from a selection of our good friends and Cornucopia contacts. If you want to get your own tunes played in the future, make sure you drop us a line and we’ll see what we can do. ..

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Credits: Produced by Peter Beeston
Presented by: Nick Drapper
Copyright © 2009. A Cornucopia Production.

PODCAST 10] Fermat’s last theorem said if an integer n is greater than 2, then the equation a + b = c has no solutions in non-zero integers a, b, and c. Which is just silly when you think about it. Instead, listen to this; we’ve got Banksy, Ronnie Corbett, Anthony Worrall Thompson, spam emails, M.C Escher, and a history of medicine. We’ve got it all…

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Credits: Produced, Written and Edited by Peter Beeston. Additional material written by Jason Turner and Random Acts
Performed By: Peter Beeston, Andrew Costa, Nick Card, Jason Tuner, Nick Drapper, Rodrick Shearer and Random Acts. Tracks: Sunspots and Halflife come from Poddington Bear under a creative commons license. Final Track: I’m Happy by Ivor Cutler
Copyright © 2009 – A Cornucopia Production.

PODCAST 9] Santa is having a rather bad 2008. First of all, he’s had all the money in his landsbanki bank account suspended, quickly followed by the discovery of a series of offensive messages left on his answerphone from two out of control BBC DJ’s. Elsewhere, a selection of unemployed high street bankers are having to go out carol singing to make some money this Christmas, but pretty soon a better idea presents itself…

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Credits: Produced, Written and Edited by Peter Beeston.
Performed By: Peter Beeston, Gavin Hodge, Andrew Costa, Nick Draper, Phillip Mason, Simon Green, Lucy Meldrum and Sangita Basudev
Copyright © 2008 – A Cornucopia Production.

PODCAST 8] Beleaguered controversial northern post-industrial amnesiac dot.communist entrepreneur Ray Christmas resides herbaholically in just one of his edge-of-the-city mansions where, holed up with his unwitting personal pharmacist, cinematographer and biographer, the two manage to leverage his global majority shareholding in the totally fixed and failing Baby-bond futures market by selling the crudely written, filmed and directed feline soap opera – “The Archie & Cilla Show” – to an overindulgent media conglomerate.

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Credits: Written by Rex Davies. Directed By Peter Beeston
Performed By: Matt MacAteer, Robert Beard, David Reid, Rex Davies, Wendy Davies, Peter Beeston, Philo Holland, Andrew Costa, Greg Harris, Geoffrey Card, David Zezulka, Val Monti, Nick Card, Ian Brome, Richard Crowther.
Copyright © 2009 – A Cornucopia Production.

PODCAST 7] In a very special edition of the cornucopia podcast, we present some short spooky stories and poems, written and performed by the cast.  “Blood and Tears” features a typewriter with a thirst for blood and “Everything will be Okay” tells a story about the fall of humanity and a flesh eating virus. We’ll also challenge you to listen to Gloomy Sunday without taking a  long sleep that can last a lifetime.

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Credits: Produced, Written and Edited by Peter Beeston. Additional material written by Chris Drury
Performed By: Chris Drury, Nikki Shanahan, Andrew Costa, Sangita Basudev, Rex Davies
Copyright © 2008 – A Cornucopia Production.

PODCAST 6] Stop, look and listen. Once you’ve done that, start out by checking out our credit crunch report or some startling courtroom dramas. Then settle down for a little “Chicken and Fox” action, followed by the “News at Zen”. Please note; Ronnie Corbett has been banned from the studio. Look it clear we’re going nowhere. So you better get used to us!!

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Credits: Produced, Written and Edited by Peter Beeston. Additional material written by Jason Turner, Nick Card and Graham Marshall
Performed By: Peter Beeston, Andrew Costa, Nick Card, Jason Tuner, Greg Harris, Wendy Davis, Joanne Mateer
Copyright © 2008 – A Cornucopia Production.

PODCAST 5] The door to this podcast is always open, mainly due to mechanical failure. So look inside for fighting fonts, Yorkshire clichés, a guide to stalking, answer-phone messages and funky philosophy. Are you even reading this??

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Credits: Produced, Written and Edited by Peter Beeston. Additional material written by Arron Weedal, Matthew McAteer and Duncan Miller
Performed By: Peter Beeston, Andrew Costa, Nick Card, Arron Weedal, Matthew McAteer, Jason Tuner, Kerry Marriott and Duncan Miller.
Copyright © 2008 – A Cornucopia Production.

PODCAST 4] This podcast will fit you like a suit of armour. It’s perfect, it works; don’t change a thing! You’ll start with a full introduction to the “Police Academy” before taking a very quick visit to Mars (take a jacket, it’ll be chilly). Once you return, will have a look at your horoscope, before trying on some “Cruel Shoes”. To end your day, we’ll all take a quick spin in the “Large Hedron Collider”  Look, I’m not meant to be telling you this, but you’ve only got 31 minutes to live. So, you better download this…

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Credits: Produced, Written and Edited by Peter Beeston. Additional material written by Rodrick Shearer
“She Had The Jugs”, “Introduction” and “The Morning I Got Out of Bed”, all written by Steve Martin, who is brilliant….
Performed By: Peter Beeston, Andrew Costa, Nick Card, Graham Rodgers, Deborah Egan, Rodrick Shearer, Nikki Shanahan and Joanne Mateer. Music Played: “Amarok Theme, by Hochglanz” and “Wild and Cool, by Murat Ses”
Copyright © 2008 – A Cornucopia Production.

PODCAST 3] To create the following podcast, you will need: The city of Rome, a tank full of petrol, some dog liver, a busy art gallery, plus some kind of pocket computer. Make sure you mix with “Great Gusto” and then leave out in the sun until it becomes a public nuisance.

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Credits: Produced, Written and Edited by Peter Beeston. Additional material written by Nick Card and Jason Turner
Performed By: Peter Beeston, Andrew Costa, Jason Turner, Nick Card, Graham Rodgers, Deborah Egan, Rodrick Shearer and Wendy Davies.
Copyright © 2008 – A Cornucopia Production.

PODCAST 2] Listen on your ipod, listen on your computer. Listen while enjoying the sunshine. Listen while jogging. Listen while having a drink. Listen while poking  a badger with a stick. Listen, listen, listen! This week we have:  Armies, Sherlock Holmes, Office Zombies, Ronnie Corbett, Moon Landings, and eyeball gouging. If you like it; try and tell 6 people about the podcast, then get them to tell six other people and so on and so on. By law if we do this enough, Kevin Bacon will end up listening….

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Credits: Produced, Written and Edited by Peter Beeston. Additional material written by Random Acts, Jason Turner and Andrew Costa.
Performed By: Peter Beeston, Andrew Costa, Jason Turner, Andrew Hopton, Nick Card and Random Acts
Copyright © 2008 – A Cornucopia Production.

PODCAST 1] Welcome to the first podcast; in this compressed but concise package: You’ll find out why the internet was invented, discover how to put together flat pack furniture, listen to the colour blue, learn to cook with Mr ‘Worrall Thompson’ and you might even manage to catch 40 winks near the end. It’s like drain cleaner, BUT FOR YOUR HEAD!!!

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Credits: Produced, Written and Edited by Peter Beeston. Additional material written by Andrew Costa and Jason Turner. Desire/An Invitation to the Dance, written and created by Liz Price. Winter and The Sound Of Nothing by Sara Ayers played under the Creative Commons License.
Performed By: Peter Beeston, Andrew Costa, Jason Turner, David Cox, Deborah Egan, Andrew Hopton, Nick Draper.
Copyright © 2008 – A Cornucopia Production.